Lessons in Obedience

Over the last couple of weeks I've been thinking quite a bit about the experience I had when I was pregnant with our fourth child, Lucy. I talked about it in a previous blog entitled "Thankfulness." You can get a fuller story there, but the very short version is that I did not want to have any more children, and I had a pathetic attitude. God then dealt with my heart by way of a rebuke and remembering a Bible verse. At that same time I learned another great lesson that is still a part of my everyday life. Here it is: If I will simply obey God's word, whether I feel like it or not, whether it makes sense to me or not (keeping in mind that I have a very limited picture of things), eventually, my emotions will follow. I started putting this idea to the test immediately. I've been testing it ever since that Sunday God rebuked me. And do you know what? It's true! When I obey God's word, my emotions do eventually follow. While it's not always immediate, sometimes it is. Like when I choose to sing praise and thanks songs when I'd rather throw a fit or be otherwise ugly. Almost always my emotions follow when I choose to truly thank and praise God from my heart. I think this is because my focus is changed. Instead of focusing on whatever is bothering me, I'm focusing on God, His goodness, His gifts, His character, etc. Emotions follow obedience pretty quickly in times such as this.

Other times, though, my emotions take a while to change. But I've found that it's important to keep obeying whether or not my emotions agree. My emotions are very tied up in my attitudes. (It seems this is true of most people I talk to.) I have to be very careful of the attitudes I embrace, because they affect my whole world. I personally find it more difficult to obey God's word when someone I love has been ugly to me. Maybe s/he's been short tempered with me, or perhaps even down right hateful. What do I do? I know what I want to do! I want to be hateful back and let her/him see how it feels to be treated that way. BUT...the Bible is my standard and what does it tell me to do? Forgive. Love my neighbor as myself. Forgive. Crucify my flesh. Forgive. Give thanks. Forgive again! These, among others, are the attitudes I should have. But this is so hard to do!!! God help me as I try to live this out. I am nowhere near perfect in this. Yet, when I do obey, God proves Himself so faithful...over and over again. My emotions don't always agree at that moment, but when they do, it reminds me of how important obedience is. And I'm not the only one changed by my obedience. It touches those who see it lived out in me. My husband, children, family and friends are all influenced by my obedience to God's word, especially in the face of difficulty. These are the people who are up close and personal. They see it all. They know. They really know.

I don't have to "feel like it" to obey God's word. I just need to do what it tells me to do. Period. Please don't sit there and think, "She is being legalistic..." No! I want to obey God! He has done so much in my life, it is truly amazing to me. I know what He has done inside of me...in my heart. The outflow of my love for Him is a desire to please Him. Well, the Bible tells me that I can please God by obeying Him. "If you love me, keep my commands," "Obedience is better than sacrifice," etc., so that's what I want to do! I don't want to ever knowingly walk in sin. Of course, I'm human, so sin happens in my life, but I don't want to embrace it.

I wish I could say that I had this area of my life conquered, but I can't. However, as I grow in it, I'm amazed at the changes I see in myself and my family. As my children see it practiced, they learn to practice it. As my husband experiences grace from me, he extends it back at later times. What do you know?! I feel motivated all over again! I should note, however: This is NOT easy to do. Reliance on God is absolutely necessary. In the flesh, this is impossible. But God's grace is abundant, and I can guarantee that He will give it to you as you rely on Him to help you obey. Yes...even in those difficult situations when your flesh doesn't even want to (but your spirit does)!