Perspective

I recently reconnected with a friend from high school via facebook. We weren't close friends in the sense that we did stuff together, but we were friendly with each other at school. It turns out that this is the most tragic time of his life. His 8 year old daughter died on Mother's Day earlier this year. Her bowels twisted and turned septic and she died. Her death came as quite a shock to his family, and it is a heartbreaking story. To lose a child like that...I just can't even imagine that kind of loss. I mean, I can try, and it's really upsetting when I do...but, really, I have no idea of the magnitude of his pain and heartache. And, honestly, I hope I never do.

As I've kept up with this friend and his walk through "the valley of the shadow of death," I've been given the gift of perspective. It's easy for me to lose sight of the bigger picture of my life and the role God has for me in it. I sometimes grumble or complain because the kids aren't getting along like I would like for them to. I get bent out of shape because this child or that talks disrepectfully to me or a sibling. The kids get too noisy, or messy, or lazy, or...whatever. But when I think of these things in light of my friend's loss, heartache and pain, I realize how very blessed I really am. I have awesome children! Each one of them is sweet. They are hard workers. They are usually very respectful. They play together...even though not always nicely...but they do play together! They want to be around Jay and me. They are innocent. They are precious. And they are heaven sent...gifts from my Heavenly Father. I don't want to waste my time resenting them. I don't want to miss out on getting to truly know each of them. I don't want to waste opportunities to train them, to guide them and to cheer them on. I don't want for (God forbid!!) tragedy to strike and then wish I had done it differenly...been a better mom by being more loving, patient, kind, gentle, self controlled, intentional, or fun. I want to make the most of my time with them.

It's so easy to get caught up in the busyness of my days and miss the moments God gives me with them. Sometimes it's easy to just give those moments away to convenience and ease. There are times the kids are being hateful with each other and I just want to go and hide. God, please help me be an intentional parent. Give me Your perspective and help me see the bigger picture for my role in their lives. Help me to teach them about You and Your ways. Help me to instill in them a deep and abiding love for You, each other, Jay and me, and others too. Help me always be grateful for these precious, precious gifts named Hannah, Claire, Timothy, Lucy and Eli that You, in Your wisdom and grace, have given me. Thank You, Lord, for the gift of perspective. Please help me not to lose it.

My kids are all in bed asleep, but I suddenly feel the need to go kiss each one of them and whisper in their ears how very much I love them. And so I will.